Jan 4, 2011

What Happened?

Prior to our leaving for India, we were invited by Dr. Sunitha Krishnan to work with members of the Prajwala staff. There were to be 30 women between ages 18-42; twenty-eight of whom had been rescued and rehabilitated from sexual slavery by Dr. Krishnan, Prajwala. Our program was held at the Henry Martyn Institute - International Centre for Research, Interfaith Relations and Reconciliation, Hyderabad, India.

It felt like Influence!

After traveling quite a long way out of the city and into the country, the roads began to change with bumps and holes. More camels, cows and elephants traveled the roads with us. We set up the room in typical Influence/Focus style. The women walked in, full of life and beautiful!

Soon, thirty women were sitting in a circle, looking poised, capable, eager to learn and a bit anxious. It felt like the beginning of a new Influence group!

The women ranged in age from 18 - 42. They were tall and short, dark and light. They were clearly expecting something serious to happen. But there were two characteristics of this group that are not like any Influence group:

1. Most were wearing Saris or Salwar Kameez;
2. All but two had been rescued and rehabilitated from sexual slavery.

Thus, did we begin a once-in-a-lifetime afternoon with some of the women of Prajwala. The next several hours were to be magical, intense, joyous and life-giving. Most of the women have had very little formal education; most were sexually abused for years, some having been kept chained in cages even as small children; most have lived their lives in poverty. Thanks to Prajwala, each one is now self-sufficient, living independently, developing a life of freedom and meaning.

Their responses as the day ended expressed their maturity, their intelligence and their pain. Their ability to trust us, accept us, thank us and show their love went beyond what anyone would have dreamed possible given the circumstances of their lives and our two lives.

What did I learn?

Carol: From the minute Sunitha invited us to work with Prajwala girls and women, I felt a huge desire to have things unfold with ease. However, the first hours of design work were full of angst for Tim and me. Suddenly, after much pain, we practiced what we "preach" and allowed the design to unfold with least effort. It was truly not our design, but was offered to us by a Divine Source. I simply took notes in long hand as it was received. No computers for this one.

Everyone who knows me knows I am an emotional and very loving being. Most people who have known me longer than six months have seen me weep as well as laugh fully; most people who know me have felt my embrace. Therefore, when I was overwhelmed with an emotion deeper and more full than anything experienced before, I was nearly speechless.

The entire time with these girls and women was precious and priceless. However, it was the end of the day that knocked me to my knees, emotionally.

Some of the girls and women were moved to speak up as we were saying good-bye. Still in circle, the first woman spoke:
"Madame Carol, Mister Tim, our parents sold us or did not find us when we were taken. You have shown us more love in one day than we have felt in our entire lives."

Another woman spoke:
"Madame Carol, Mister Tim, today I laughed for the first time I can remember and it felt good! Thank you!"

One of the teen girls spoke:
"Madame Carol, always I have had that small, dark place deep inside me. Today it is gone. I thank you."

And finally, as we were standing and moving to leave, one woman, somewhat cautiously, walked up to me. She was face to face with me and she said:
"Madame Carol, will you hug me like a Mother hugs her child? I have never felt this."

The girls and women behind her quickly, consciously lined up to be embraced as a Mother hugs her child. Each one saying in her own way:
"And now, Madame Carol, for me, hug me as a Mother hugs her child."

And so I did, slowly kissing each one on each cheek and holding her close to my heart, as if she were my child.

Even now, I feel the tears coming and I know for that small moment in time, each one was my child - a God-given gift to her and to me.

Tim: I was blown away by our experience with the Prajwala women. I hadn't expected that they would be so articulate, so poised, so expressive. These women were not in any way "less than" a group who might begin Influence. They were different from an Influence group in that twenty-eight of the thirty had lived through an extended period of abuse, trauma and rape, their lives in danger of death every day for years.

I felt humble in their presence, in awe of their warmth, openness and engagement. I felt inadequate. What could I offer about life to those who had already experienced so much? I felt guilty for what some men all over the world are doing to children and women just like these extraordinary girls and women. I felt angry that my own government is taking so little action to stop the sale of humans for sex.

I received many gifts that day from the Women of Prajwala. They demonstrated a level of positive acceptance and love for Carol and me that I have never experienced before in that way. I will advocate on their behalf wherever I am.