Jan 11, 2010

What Happened?

Well, you know the first part. We sent out our continuing Reflections on India, #3 and then #4. The responses that came back to us are heartwarming and inspiring. Thank you.

Occasionally, we also receive a response with perfect timing and coaching. Our longtime friend, colleague and teacher, Sharif Abdullah, has been dealing with the issue of Creating a World that Works for All for many years. For those of you who are not familiar with Sharif, please refer to his book by this name as well as his other books. Please also visit his Commonway.org website to read more about Sharif if you have not had the distinct pleasure to work with him, to be his student, to be his friend.

Many of you who receive this email do know Sharif and remember our exciting adventures of the FGISpirit Commons Cafes held in Omaha for 300 people and in Denver for 200 people in the difficult and emotional fall of 2001, and then 2002.

Here are Sharif's words to us about our Reflections on India:

Greetings:

Powerful witnessing. Powerful work. I think this is one of humanity's most important tasks: acting as witness to what most in the world don't want to see. To face unimaginable horror, armed with nothing but an open heart.

And, don't forget: the "crime bosses" are every bit as injured and scarred as the little 4 year old rape victim. It's easy to open your heart in compassion for the 4 year old. It's much harder (MUCH harder) to open your heart to the alleged perpetrator, to see him as the injured 6 or 7 year old boy whose life circumstances pushed him down HIS life path.

Your work (OUR work) is not "against" the crime bosses. Our work is to end the system that creates the bosses and victims in the first place. To envision a world where both 4 year old rape victims and crime bosses are healed.

What are your learnings so far about yourself?

Carol: In theory, in my heart, in my brain I know Sharif is absolutely right. I am touched deeply by Sharif, his caring, his coaching, his wisdom. We have a powerful role as witnesses. This witnessing/reflecting is to provide the information for our learning and growth. Plus, this witnessing is for your consideration.

Witnessing is about raising awareness as well as asking others to join in the witnessing by sharing the messages/stories we send. But there is more.

Thus, I must ask you, "What are your learnings about you from reading our Reflections on India?"

For me, I'll share more about my learnings as a result of Sharif's dear email which was of course longer than what appears above.

First of all, it is too easy for me to judge those I feel have caused the issues of Sexual Slavery and Trafficking. This is because, as grown men and most likely some women, they are the perpetrators. They cause the demand for children and women to serve as their sexual slaves or the sexual slaves of others. Don't they?!

Sure, I know the answer is "Yes, but . . ."

Those little boys who are now the "Users" and the "Bosses" of this ugly crime were not born as monsters. They were not born as anything different than our own sweet and innocent babies, nephews, brothers and friends. They have lost the ability to see the Beautiful side of life. The Ugliness of life somehow caught them in it's grip. Perhaps it was their own lack of parents? Perhaps it was their own lack of schooling and purpose in life? Perhaps it was abject poverty and hunger? Perhaps it was that they as children were also someone's victims? We cannot know!

What we do know is that in many places in this world, including our own USA, there are many such people who will do whatever they need to do to stay alive and to feed their own needs.

We pray FGISpirit work serves the children and women of Prajwala, to insure that rescues continue, education continues, safe living arrangements continue, increasing levels of total rehabilitation continue. All of this is necessary and at some levels serves you and us who join in the quest. We are one.

Each one of us also must work at the greater System level. As Tim and I say about FGISpirit, "We influence the future through action now." This is both about what we are doing and how we are being as humans sharing this planet earth.

Thank you for embracing this work with us.

With Love, Carol

Tim: This is probably the toughest one so far. Trying to imagine the perpetrators as victims as well is a lot harder. And yet Sharif and Carol are completely right.

This morning I was talking about this with a dear friend, and partner with us in FGISpirit. She raised the issue of the users, since it is the market for prostitution that creates the need for sexual slaves and human trafficking. We agreed that this tragedy has probably been a human reality for thousands of years. But is it a bigger issue today than in the past. She suggested that the increase in incomes makes it possible for there to be more users and thus a bigger demand for women who can be used. She reminded me that the keys to reducing this tragedy lie in improved education for girls and more equality of rights for women across the world.

At the most recent meeting of Focus, we discussed this issue. It prompted me to want a better understanding of who the users may be. Statistics are pretty difficult to find with any reliability in the US, as prostitution is illegal. Those who study the subject state on different web sites numbers that range between 10 and 40% of American men who have been buyers of prostitution. The profile of the most frequent purchaser in the US is a married man between the ages of 35 and 45. In the UK, where prostitution is legal, it is believed that about 20% of men have or do use prostitutes. That's the answer to who the ultimate perpetrators are, as they create the demand. The increased demand has dramatically increased the need for sexual slaves and trafficking.

This afternoon, while driving across the city and listening to a speech on NPR, I was musing about the reduction of poverty world-wide. One of the things that almost all commentators agree upon is that the most direct, easiest and most long-lasting solution to poverty is in educating girls and women. Educated women have fewer children, are able to be more independent as they have a means of support and are the most reliable source of economic development in poorer countries.

So sexual slavery and sex trafficking are but the presenting issue! But that may be enough for now. How can I raise the awareness of ten more people this week? How about twenty more people next week? I wonder if I can reach fifty more people before the end of January?

Like Carol, I appreciate your interest and willingness to get into the boat with us. The voyage will not be an easy one, but is one worth taking.

With love, Tim